In my morning commute to work, I always see women trudge to the metro with their hair still wet and their shoes untied, while men zip along in perfectly ironed suits and sharp brief cases. Now I know why, thanks to the School of Psychology at the University of Barcelona: it’s all coffee’s fault.

A new study showed that coffee has a greater effect on men than women, making the men more awake and more alert, faster.
                                        
                                                                 

“Although both the men and women saw an improvement in their activity levels with the coffee, which increased in later measurements, we observed a greater impact among the males,” the Catalan researcher told Science Daily.
   
What does that mean for you, fellas? Make sure you pour your wife / significant other / female roommate coffee first in the morning — we need a head start. And give us the benefit of the doubt when we’re a little slower in the AM — its our anatomy, not our attitude. Kthx.

According to my co-worker, with whom I share my dating woes, my online dating username ought to be:
TallPrettyGirlSeekingAssertiveNonNerdyNonMidgetWithActualConfidence
AndSeriousIntelligencePleaseSeriouslyDon’tTryIfYou’reUnderSixFeetTall

I’m not sure that would fit in the characters they allow you, so I need to think of a way to abbreviate while keeping the main idea.  And yes, HeinouslyPickyBitch has been suggested by various wounded menfolk, but I think it might oversimplify a little.

(Am I allowed to say "Bitch" on LadyBlog?  How about if it’s a direct quotation?)

If you had unlimited characters to create an accurate dating handle, what would yours be?

You know when something so shocks or horrifies your sensibilities that you become mesmerized and can’t look away?

I experienced this special kind of fascination while viewing this Milan Menswear Spring/Summer 2009 Trend Round Up and even moreso at the Paris Menswear Spring/Summer 2009 Trend Round Up.

Here are a few of my favorite round up comments (keep in mind this is MEN’S fashion):

“Despite the crazy styling, head-wear, and makeup, there are still some great wearable pieces… The pink hat-mesh-wigs however are only for the ultra-brave.”

“Iridescent fabrics; Bright and Coral pinks”

“Trousers with low-slung crotches”

And the winner:

“The suits in pinks, peace-sign prints, and bright reds looked very fifties, and the accessories this season were all about picnic baskets with fresh baguettes.”

:-/

I’ve got some good debate fodder for all you Ladies of the 80s (and am curious re: the views of our younger LadyBloggers, too). Here’s our subject, actor Kirk Cameron:

Refusing to kiss his onscreen wife, Cameron forced movie producers to cast his wife Chelsea as a stand-in for his new film Fireproof. In the flick, Cameron plays a firefighter battling to save his marriage to his wife, played by Erin Bethea.

Apparently thirty-seven year old Cameron once vowed to Chelsea - his wife of 17 years and the mother of his six children (four of which are adopted, BTW) - that he’d never kiss another woman on or off-screen. Here’s the happy couple:

Cameron explained to World Entertainment News Network, “In Fireproof, there is a romantic and touching scene where he (character) kisses his wife. Because I have a commitment not to kiss any other woman, my wife Chelsea came in to the set and wore the dress my character’s wife wore. We shot the scene in silhouette, so when I kiss my [movie] wife, I’m actually kissing my [real] wife and honoring our marriage.”

From all accounts (like this one), Cameron is a very nice guy. And who (among those of us old enough to remember sighing over Mike Seaver in ABC’s family-friendly comedy “Growing Pains”) can forget his quintissential hotness:

LOL

So…now that he is a grown, married man what do we think about Cameron’s no-kissing vow, his decision to live it out, and snarky comments like this one?

Everyone’s heard the statistics about women earning less money than men. A study released yesterday says it’s not just women as a whole making less than men as a whole, but men with “traditional” attitudes about gender roles making more than everyone else—including men with more egalitarian views about gender roles. Washington Post reports:

The study raises the provocative possibility that a substantial part of the widely discussed gap in income between men and women who do the same work is really a gap between men with a traditional outlook and everyone else.

The differences found in the study were substantial. Men with traditional attitudes about gender roles earned $11,930 more a year than men with egalitarian views and $14,404 more than women with traditional attitudes. The comparisons were based on men and women working in the same kinds of jobs with the same levels of education and putting in the same number of hours per week.

Beth A. Livingston, who co-authored the study with Timothy Judge, told the Post she was “taken aback” by the results.

The empirical evidence in the study showed a connection between people’s attitudes about gender roles and their salaries. It was not designed to explain why those disparities come about or how people’s attitudes — supposedly a private matter — affect how much money they make.

Livingston and Judge said there are two possible explanations: Traditional-minded men might negotiate much harder for better salaries, especially when compared with traditional-minded women. Alternatively, it could also be that employers discriminate against women and men who do not subscribe to traditional gender roles.

The study was published in the September issue of the Journal of Applied Psychology. See more here, or download a free PDF of the whole study here.

One more for “the-guys-are-alright” pile:

Men rate family life and good health above a satisfying sex life, according to a study to be published in an upcoming issue of The Journal of Sexual Medicine.

German researchers conducted telephone interviews with nearly 28,000 men, ages 20 to 75, from the United States, United Kingdom, France, Germany, Italy, Spain, Mexico and Brazil, AAP reported.

Overwhelmingly, men said they preferred honor, good health and a happy family over sex, according to the report.

About one-third of respondents said being healthy was the most important factor, 26 percent valued a happy family and 19 percent said they most valued being in a good relationship. Only 2 percent placed a satisfying sex life as their top priority.

I frequently write about relationships between men and women, and have rarely been accused of male-bashing, which is never my intent. I know some extraordinary men who are caring friends, honorable husbands and devoted fathers. I seriously respect what I consider the complimentary differences between men and women, and my goal is simply to offer some humorous perspective on those differences.

I find men to be funny, quirky, remarkable, and often heart-warming. It’s funny to me that they seem to think training is required to use the remote control, but need directions looking in an open refrigerator. (”Honey, where’s the milk?”) It’s remarkable that the sound of a power tool running in the garage is like a dog whistle that silently calls men in from all over the neighborhood. And how the heck do they keep straight all those model numbers for cars? (Oh, you bought a Mercedes? Is it the CLK350 or the SLK280? I used to have a C230…loved that car.) It’s like they have a gene for it. I had to look those up.

There are also a few things about women that men find curious. They think our minimum requirement of between 7 and 11 pillows on the bed is pretty quirky. They wonder why we always visit the bathroom together. They think it’s funny that we look at connecting cables between the TV, cable, stereo and DVD and see Dante’s 5 Circles of Hell. They don’t recognize the subtle but extremely important differences between 8 pairs of black shoes. Then again, it might help if we just assigned them model numbers.

I see this cereal commercial every day. I just want to throttle the wife. Poor Steve is just making innocent conversation and she gives him the Spanish Inquisition.

Here’s the way I see it.

Fade in:

Early morning, middle America. We follow Steve into the kitchen. His wife is at the table eating what looks like a bowl of milk-drenched pine mulch. As she ruminates, slowly converting the wood chips into a pulp, her husband picks up the cereal box on the counter next to her. In a friendly and conversational tone he asks, “Are you watching your weight?”

Her eyes narrow. “Why would you think I’m trying to lose weight?”

“Well, it says here on the box that the hamster cage bedding you’re eating is only 110 calories per serving, and it’s low in fat. And I’ve seen about twelve commercials about weight loss since I got up 20 minutes ago, which leads me to believe that every woman over 100 pounds is obsessed with weight loss.”

“Could it be that I have other reasons for eating this cereal?”

“Let me look at the box. Says here it has five whole grains. I’ve learned from the other 7 commercials I watched this morning that fiber is essential for regularity. Are you backed up?”

Her eyes narrow. She looks down her nose at him as she continues to chew. “Why? Do I look backed up?”

Poor Steve attempts an ill-timed joke. “You certainly seem to have a bug up your butt if that’s what your asking me.”

She readjusts herself in her chair, and looks him sternly in the eye. “You know why I have a bug up my butt Steve? Because I have a small branch stuck sideways in my trachea, when I would rather be eating Chocolate Covered Sugar Bombs! Because I feel fat and backed up and you had the nerve to bring it up to me this morning, when you should be a mind-reader!”

“But..but…It says here that one serving contains 35% of your daily allowance of riboflavin. That’s good, right?”

“What the hell is riboflavin?”

“Well…uh… a nice neutral topic of conversation? I don’t know I haven’t seen a commercial about it. Maybe it’s good for our sex life?”

Here gaze is unflinching. “Hmmmmmm. What sex life?”

“I don’t know, let me look at the box. It doesn’t say anything about our sex life. But there is a disclaimer on the bottom that says ‘in order to prevent unreasonable risk of harm or injury, don’t engage in conversation, or otherwise fall into absurd traps set by your grumpy, hypoglycemic, constipated wife while she’s eating this sorry excuse for breakfast food.’”

She becomes a dark figure, seething in the breakfast nook.

Steve knows he’s stepped into it. He makes one last attempt at self-preservation.

“Wait…Wait honey! It says it right here! If you value your sex life, back away slowly and shut up!’”

She smiles.

Steve shuts up and stays in his place.

Later she calls Steve at work and asks him to take her out to dinner. She’s troubled because they just never seem to talk anymore.

Fade out.